Consider yourself lucky to enjoy this piece of history – the original nominee list from the 1994 awards.
S.O.P.W.A.M.T.O.S.
SOCIETY OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY MAKE THEIR OWN SHIT
SELF-APPOINTED BENEVOLENT CO-DICTATORS FOR LIFE:
MARK NORSTAD, PARAGON MACHINE
BRUCE GORDON, BRUCE GORDON CYCLES
1994 Awards:
1. Most Overdue for a New Product Award
Eric Koski WINNER
Koski Designs
Koski Engineering
2. Product Longeviety Award
Campagnolo
Phil Wood
Cook Bros. Racing – Jack Widmer WINNER
3. Best Nude Photo of an Industry Leader
Gary Fisher
Jackie Phalen
Robert Egger WINNER
4. Best Use of Indentured Servitude Award
Ibis Cycles
Chinese Bicycle Industry WINNER
5. Most Likely to give Birth before the end of Show Award
Bill Groff – Rim Cycle WINNER
6. Best Technical Mumbo-Jumbo Award
Ritchey Bicycles
Bontrager Cycles
Bianchi Superlug WINNER
7. Big Nose Award (Nose Size/ Bodyweight)
Bruce Gordon
Mark diNucci WINNER
Joe Bell
8. Best Show Promoter Award
Specialized & Trek
Steve Ready WINNER
9. The Best American Bicycle Line Made in Taiwan
Schwinn
Breezer WINNER
Marin
10. Bitter & Angry – Lifetime Achievement Award
Albert Eisentraut CO-WINNER
Bruce Gordon CO-WINNER
11. Best Catalog by a Defunct Company Award
Schwinn
Bridgestone WINNER
12. Gary Award
Gary Grable
Gary Fisher
Gary Helfrich WINNER
Gary Indiana
13. Most Colorful Dealer Award
Lee Katz
Andy Muzzy WINNER
Gene Marazusky
14. Best of Show Award
Risego WINNER
15. George Hamilton Tan Award
George Hamilton
Maynard Herschon WINNER
Zonker Harris
16. Most in Need of a New Toilet Seat Award (had a broken toilet seat in their shop)
Bruce Gordon Cycles
Axis Machine
American Cyclery WINNER
17. Most Likely to Buy Dinner Tonight Award (Andy of Anco Tech Titanium always gladly picked up the dinner tab – no matter how many people or how big the check was)
Andrew Maliszewski
Andy Maliszewski – ANCO TECH WINNER
Mr. Maliszewski
18. We Heart Dealers Award
Paragon Machine
Axis Machine
Salsa Cycles
Ibis Cycles
Bruce Gordon Cycles WINNER
19. Least Likely to Buy Dinner Tonight Award
Scott Nicol WINNER (Scott Nicol of Ibis was the cheapest person in our group)
Gary Fisher
Jeff Mc Whinney
20. Most Abundant use of Gussets Award
Salsa Cycles
Koski
Mark Hoffman
Keith Bontrager WINNER
21. Flashiest Expert D.N.F. at Mammoth Award
Chris Paretich WINNER
22. Smoke & Mirrors Award (Cannondale was the hands down winner because of their unridable, never produced prototypes – Vaporware)
Cannondale WINNER
Cannondale WINNER
Cannondale WINNER
Cannondale WINNER
NOTES OF INTEREST:
SOPWAMTOS being an environmentally conscious group wants it to be known that the Golden Toiddy Awards were made of 100% USED toilet seats lovingly collected at the Sonoma County Recycling Center by David di Falco General Manager of Bruce Gordon Cycles.
NO TREES lost their lives for our awards.
